My name is Jarmila and if there’s anything I was 100 % sure about in my life, it was that I want to have children. I always knew I wanted to have children.
If you’ve had asked me on my fourth birthday:
“What do you want in your life the most?”
My answer would had been:
“I want to have 3 children.”
You could be asking me the very same question every year since and my answer wouldn’t change.
15 years ago, I told my boyfriend (now husband) on our first date that I want to have 3 children – just so he knows and has a chance to run away if he doesn’t feel comfortable about it.
Gosh, I dreamt about having kids all the time…
There’s just one tiny detail I didn’t think of:
Kids need looking after: 24/7
Pretty dumb, right?
The day I found out I was expecting my first baby was one of the best days of my life.
Soon enough, I realised that I know nothing about babies and I started panicking:
“OMG, I have never held a real baby in my arms! What am I going to do?”
Oh wait, yes, I held a baby in my arms once. Not so long ago, I visited my friend with 6 weeks old baby. She sat me down on the couch, told me where to place my arms and then, carefully, she put her baby on my arms.
I was so scared to move that I nearly stopped breathing. After few seconds I asked my friend to come and take him of me.
Few months later, here I was. Pregnant with my own baby…
I was very excited and very VERY scared at the same time.
With no experience and no REAL information whatsoever, I knew I had to prepare somehow to become a mom of this baby. So I spent most of my time googling everything about babies:
- How to feed them;
- What clothes to put on them;
- What do newborn babies need for life;
- What pram to buy;
- How should a baby sleep;
- What mattress for a baby cot is the best;
- Info about baby monitors, car seats, toys, breastfeeding, bottle feeding, nappies, baby proofing, food, health & development;
- Etc., etc., etc…
I also spent several hours a day reading questions and answers on Moms-to-Be online forum to keep on track with fellow expectant mothers and all issues that could come up during pregnancy and beyond.
I learnt a lot, but there were 2 things no one told me:
1. Baby needs looking after 24/7
Yes, yes, people have told me that my life will turn upside down after the baby comes. They told me that labor is hard work and that I’ll be tired.
But having a live human being 100 % relying on myself 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year, no break, no sleep, no rest… That’s something else.
2. Mommy knows the best
I didn’t know it and it took me a while to realize this was true. I hoped I could find the instructions on Google or YouTube for my baby. Even though I knew deep inside from the first second after my baby was born what’s going on with my baby and what to do.
There’s no read.me for your baby.
It doesn’t matter how many hours you spend searching for a solution to your problem. All you find are ideas and suggestions that other people tried and maybe – maybe not, were right for THEIR babies. Not yours.
So remember: No one ever had YOUR baby, so no one really knows what’s best for your baby.
You’re the mom, you know the best.
What happened next?
Time flew by and I woke up one day having not one, but 3 “babies”:
- 4 years old daughter,
- 2.5 years old son and
- a newborn baby boy.
Surprisingly, I wasn’t panicking about anything anymore.
I felt peace, strength and confidence.
I was tired and sore after labour and from looking after a newborn and 2 older kids.
But that’s ok. I’m a mom. That’s what all moms do. There’s nothing special about it.
I’m just an ordinary mom who’s trying to do the best she can. Like my mom, like my mom’s mom… Like YOU.
When the first baby is born, the new mom is born too…
After struggling so much to find the right information during my first pregnancy and after having my first baby, I realised that moms need basic info to get them started.
Each and every topic you might think of is very very wide. New moms shouldn’t be told what to do or how to do it.
Moms should be presented with options they have and wide range of ideas. At the end of the day, they will figure out the best way, most suitable FOR THEM & THEIR BABY.
So if you’re one of the new moms looking for information or if you know someone who is as inexperienced as I was at the beginning, I will be more than happy to help!
When reading my blog, remember: I have 3 answers to every question – because I have 3 children. I do not have the right answer for you. I can only share with you what I know and what I learnt so far on my journey of being a mom.
If something I know can help you find the right answer for yourself and your baby, I’ll be happy to share it with you.
Let me know if there’s any topic you’d like to read more about or if there’s anything else I can do to help.
Enjoy the childhood of your little one as much as your can, because, you know: Babies Grow Fast 🙂